Why is it so hard to list your hobbies?
Whenever I’ve spoken to people about filling out their eHarmony profile there always seemed to be one question that tripped them up: what are your hobbies?
It seems innocuous enough when compared with something like, what are your last 10 Google searches? But on the day I wrote my own eH profile, I finally understood why it’s so tough. I stared at that question for a good 30 minutes and came to two horrifying conclusions: I have no hobbies (unless you CAN count watching TV in your trackies?) and therefore I am a dull person.
I rang my friend to tell her it’s ok, go on and find a new, far more adventurous friend who will gladly go paragliding with her. She promptly told me to snap out of it and that I had a million hobbies.
She is, of course, right. I had just paralysed myself with the pressure of writing them down, knowing I would be judged by potential dates. So I spent some time thinking about how best to answer this question, and here are seven conclusions I came to that will hopefully help you, too.
1. Don’t worry if you think you don’t have any hobbies. You really do.
This is common for busy people who don’t get to indulge in activities they enjoy as much as they would like to draw a blank, like I did. I worked around this by thinking about what I have enjoyed when I was less busy and what I’m looking forward to in the future. It turns out I actually have a stack of hobbies, such as building things from scratch and scouring Sydney to find its best burger, and I went ahead and listed them because…
2. No hobby is off limits.
Do you really have no hobbies or are you just embarrassed by them? If it’s the later, don’t be. The more unique the hobby the better, because being an individual is sexy. So don’t be afraid to put down that you really get a kick out of rifling through smelly old clothes at thrift shops or doing science experiments in your kitchen.
3. Be true to yourself.
We can fall into the trap of including hobbies we think potential dates will like, rather than things we actually enjoying doing. However, when it comes to the success of a long-term relationship, very little has to do with whether you both like craft beer and horses.
4. It’s all about the phrasing.
“Cleaning is my hobby – I love it! – but I can’t put that down on my profile,” beseeched my friend Cathy, 35, when she called me asking for help with her profile. We work-shopped it and decided she should include it, but phrase it in such a way so potential suitors know she’s awesome (which she is) as opposed to a janitor. She ended up writing, “I love cooking a feast for all of my friends on a Sunday, and then listening to old school rock while cleaning the house until it shines so I’m all set for the week.”
5. Go into detail.
Sure, you could write that you enjoy going to the movies, but by divulging more info, you’ll give potential dates a better idea of who you are and what makes you tick. For example, do you love to see midnight screening of thrillers with popcorn and a honeycomb choc top? Are you learning how to bake chocolate chip biscuits for your daughter’s school fete? Do you own every John Grisham novel? Include this.
6. Avoid clichés.
We all enjoying hanging out with our friends and kicking back on the couch, but these activities are hardly conversation starters. Show off your unique personality and list those things you love doing and are passionate about.
7. Don’t judge.
Finally, when you’re scouring ‘hobbies’ on a match’s profile, remember the old saying: ‘The hobby don’t maketh the man’ and leave judgements to the courtroom. You never know, they might introduce you to something you end up loving.
What hobbies and interests did you write in your profile? Tell us in the comments below or join the conversation on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram. And if you are ready to narrow down the world of possibilities, sign up to eharmony today- find someone made for you.
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