Why men don’t return calls | Dating Advice | eHarmony Australia
You have a great first date when you really seem to make a deep-down connection, but then he never calls again. Sure, you understand a day or so cooling off period, but once a week goes by he’s been well and truly scratched off the list. We’ve all been there – and yes, women are guilty of this too, but in our experience, the cries of ‘…but they never called back’ are about men.
Once you’ve read our reasons, add your own thoughts in the comments section.
They’re not really interested, but they’re too immature to be honest. It may have felt like a great date to you, but to him it was just an ego stroking session. And when he told you he’d call at the end of the night he had absolutely no intention of actually doing so. If he’s really immature he’ll use this fact as some kind of trophy to show off to his equally immature mates. Ask yourself though, is this really the kind of man you’d want to start a relationship with?
They’re too polite. Essentially this is the same situation as reason 1, but this guy isn’t immature, he’s a coward instead. Judging that end of date moment is never easy. Does a hug or a kiss feel right? Should you say you’ll call? Some men will say anything to avoid embarrassment. Also, think back – it’s likely you’ve given your number to a man, inwardly hoping he never calls. This guy is nice, though he’s a bit spineless – another person you probably don’t want to start a relationship with either…
They lost your number. Really, this does actually happen, even though it’s the last thing you’ll think of. Or, he’s just really busy. Either way, spare it a thought, as it’ll save your emotions a little.
The missing link
So, what links these three reasons why a man doesn’t call? Simply, it’s that none of them have anything to do with your worth as a woman. It certainly doesn’t feel like that when someone doesn’t return your call, but trust us, it’s not you. When it comes down to it, it’s up to you to make the decision not to put a negative spin on the situation. After all, what’s the point?
And if you find yourself feeling terrible because you haven’t had one call returned, then maybe you need to reassess your approach to dating. Perhaps you’re just not ready, or you need to learn to put less emphasis on one interaction.
One key to easing this disproportionate (but understandable) feeling of unhappiness is to focus on the present. The past doesn’t count anymore and the future is impossible to predict. So work out what you can achieve and enjoy right now, rather than thinking about whether the next man you meet is going to be the man of your dreams. And don’t just enjoy dating, but enjoy life – the more you emit the positive vibe of loving life, the easier you will find it to attract the people you want in your life.
Can you call him?
You might be thinking, ‘well, surely I can call him?’, and of course you can. But if you do, follow these three simple rules:
1. Never ask why he didn’t call you
2. Don’t bend over backwards to please him (offering to pay for dinner, clean his house….)
3. Don’t ask him to ask you out – you’re not a teenager
All these things reek of neediness, which is an instant turn off for most men, especially one who has already delayed calling you first. But, by coming across as confident and relaxed, he may just find it very attractive that you’ve taken the initiative.
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