Should you ever fake a relationship?

by Fran Creffield - January 6, 2014

There are times in all single people’s lives when it would just be easier to have a relationship but is it ever ok to make one up? 

There’s a lot of controversy about websites that offer fake relationships. To make the relationship believable you pay a subscription and depending on your price plan you can have text messages, gifts, Facebook statuses and even live phone conversations. All this is to convince your family and that you’re dating so they’ll get off your back and allow you to live your life as you want. The fact there’s a market for this shows how being single is almost an invitation for other people to interfere in your life. If pressure to be in a relationship is so bad is it worth paying for a fake partner to get your family off your back?

Whose business is it?

Whether you’re single or in a relationship is only really your business but that doesn’t necessarily stop other people from trying to help you find a partner. Like in the Bridget Jones films the ‘smug married’ people are often the most intrusive and comments like ‘oh we’ll have to find someone nice for you next’ can get right under your skin. The prospect of being able to shut them up is appealing especially if the pressure to get hooked up is from your family. Just a simple white lie might suffice but having evidence to back up your claim makes it more believable.

Buying time

The trouble is that by making up a fake relationship you are, let’s face it, lying to your nearest and dearest. No matter how convincing you are, one day that lie is going to come to light. The trouble with lies is that they usually need more lies to back them up and in the end you find yourself ensnared in a sticky web of deceit. You may have got your relatives off your back for a few months but it could ultimately cost you their trust for the foreseeable future.

Benefits without the hassle

Another reason why people might sign up to a fake relationship site is that they want the benefits of a relationship – loving texts, thoughtful gifts etc. but without the hassle of a real person who wants those things in return. The trouble with this is that it’s a bit like sending yourself Christmas cards; you can’t kid yourself into believing they are genuine even if you can convince others.

The small gestures of love shared in a relationship are only significant if they’re built on a real and solid ‘personal’ connection with someone. On their own they mean relatively little.

Accepting what is

The only way to really get your family off your back is to be honest with them. If you’re not interested in having a relationship right now tell them that. Choosing to be on your own for a while can be a proactive decision especially if it’s to heal from an old relationship, concentrate on your career or just to develop a healthier relationship with yourself. Whatever the reason tell them, in no uncertain terms, you’re happy to be single and if you want their help you’ll ask for it.

If, however, you are tempted to fake a relationship, it could be because you believe yourself that being single is shameful and that you can’t fully enjoy life without a partner even if they are fictitious. Holding these beliefs could stop you from ever developing the sort of meaningful relationship you desire because you will fill the gap where a real relationship could come in.

Instead of faking a relationship why not invest your money in an eharmony subscription and then you can tell your family that you haven’t got a partner just yet but you’re on the case and they don’t need to worry.