6 signs you aren’t ready for a relationship


Many people are so focused on finding someone to be their significant other that they overlook the fact that they’re not ready for commitment. You’d think you’d realise you don’t want to be in a relationship, but that’s not always true. Instead, you may be craving a relationship to fix some other aspect of your life. Don’t confuse this feeling with being ready to be in a relationship.

Here are six signs that you might not be ready for a relationship:

1. You’re drawn to the wrong person.

Time after time, the person you’re attracted to is in no way the one you should be with. Even though you’re warned that they might be a huge player or a loser, it doesn’t stop you from latching onto them. It also doesn’t take very long to realise that you’ve made a big mistake.

2. You’re not happy in your own company.

When you’re invited to a social event, unless you have a date to escort you, it’s likely that you’ll make up an excuse to not attend. This is never a good reason to jump into a relationship. You need to learn how to be happy with yourself and on your own first. If you’re constantly talking about what a mess your life is, it’s important to fix it before you’re ready for a real relationship. You’ll most likely attract another person with all of your same issues, so neither of you will get better.

3. You think a relationship will complete you.

While this sounds great in a movie or in a book, reality is a bit different. There should be no completing. A better way to look at it is finding a partner who will complement you.

4. You spend more time looking for love than enjoying your interests.

Granted, you do need to be out there in social situations if you ever plan to meet the right person, but don’t plan all of your outings around “The Hunt.”

5. Your baggage is holding you back.

You haven’t truly dealt with any leftover emotional baggage from previous relationships. Until you’re completely over your ex, all your future relationships will be “rebounds.” Another person isn’t going to fix it.

6. You don’t feel you can be your authentic self.

There is no need to turn yourself inside out to make sure you’re exactly what someone else wants. Be more concerned about whether or not the other person is exactly what you want.

Are you truly relationship-ready? Got any other signs to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below or join the conversation @eHarmony_AU or on Facebook.com/eHarmonyaustralia.

This article originally appeared on eH Blog.

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