How to get out of a relationship slump



If you and your partner have let fun slip from your priorities and are losing emotional and physical closeness as a result, it is important to find ways to inject fun and positivity back into the relationship. Not only is it extremely beneficial for the relationship, it’s also good for your individual well-being.

Many research studies show that couples have the most fun while dating, and report a decline in fun once they are in a long-term relationship or married. They often don’t report having much fun again until they reach retirement. This is often the result of career and household demands, and couples not recognising the value in investing time in their relationship.

Recreate the initial attraction

Look back at what attracted you to your partner when you first met. Maybe you liked their sense of humour, certain personality traits, or the common interests you shared? You definitely would have shared some enjoyable experiences together that led to the decision to take your relationship to the next step. Take note of what drew you to one another, and what made the first experiences you shared so special.

Next, think about experiences you would both like to repeat in the future. You don’t have to repeat the exact same activities – variations could work just as well, if not better. For example, a couple that shared fond memories together during a holiday in Mexico might like to go to a Mexican bar or restaurant every now and then to spark those special memories and create new ones. Also think of activities that you may not have tried but would like to, based on shared common interests. It’s just as important to try new experiences together to keep things exciting. This could be learning a new skill together, or simply going to places that you haven’t been to before. To help get the ball rolling, make a list of ten activities you’d like to do together and stick it to the fridge.

Set time aside for leisure

Fun doesn’t have to be spontaneous, and it is perfectly fine to plan things in advance. Once you have established some activities you’d like to do together, it’s a good idea to make a plan or reach some sort of mutual agreement.

There are many different ways for couples to approach this, and how much time you invest depends on factors like career demands and budgets. When deciding on how much time to devote, a good rule to go by is – the harder you work, the harder you should play! If you have a high demanding job, you and your partner might like to plan just one big activity every year together, such as a holiday or road trip adventure. More time and flexibility can allow for more frequent but less extravagant activities.

Strengthen your relationship

Sharing enjoyable experiences together and strengthening the bond between each other go hand in hand. Once you have increased the quality time you spend together and are reminded of what qualities attracted you to one another, increased physical and emotional closeness will naturally result. The closeness and intimacy felt after sharing an enjoyable experience together is often the best part of the whole experience.

Just remember to make your relationship a priority and to keep planning fun activities together. That way, you will always have something to look forward to and can continue celebrating your lives together.

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