How to tell if a man is ready for a relationship


All men are different, as are all relationships, but the question on the minds of women when they are dating a man is often – ‘Is he ready for a relationship?’ This is a vital question but not one you necessarily want to ask outright in case you seem too pushy.

Time and attention

Time and attention are the cornerstones of a developing relationship as opposed to casual dating. A man who is serious about getting to know you and working towards a commitment will make time to be in regular contact and to see you whenever possible he will start conversations and take the initiative when arranging dates and opportunities to get to know you better.

This investment of time will not wane after the relationship becomes sexual – if anything he will want to spend more time with you – someone who isn’t serious will often lose interest after they have succeeded in having sex and their attention may move onto the next challenge.

Although it is important to understand that sometimes a man will be busy you should know that he would make time for you if he could and you are up there on his list of priorities. If he won’t give you his time, don’t waste too much of yours on him.

Attention when he is with you is also a key factor in establishing his intentions – does he listen to you and take on board things that you tell him? Does he turn his phone off and make you feel that for the time you are together he is really present?


Emotional intimacy is established when two people share their inner feelings, dreams, hopes and fears. Men are not always great at connecting on an emotional level but if a man is serious about developing a relationship with you he will normally overcome his natural reservations and let down some of the boundaries around sharing his emotions. He may talk to you about his childhood, past relationships and aspects of his life that are troublesome – he will open up to you because he trusts that you will understand him and not judge him – he is emotionally mature and not afraid to show his vulnerability as well as his strengths. One of the most intimate times for a man is after sex – if he wants to cuddle up and talk rather than roll over and fall asleep then he is much more engaged than if he were just casually dating you.


Physical affection is more than just having sex but some women mistake a man’s sexual attention for serious intentions of a long term relationship – it isn’t necessarily so. Showing affection outside of the bedroom, in ways that don’t necessarily lead to sex – hugging, kissing, holding hands etc – gives a much stronger indication that he is ready for a relationship.

The company he keeps

Men usually spend their time with people whose values they share. To tell if he is ready for a relationship look at his friends – are they settled down with wives and families or are they committed bachelors dedicated to playing the field and enjoying the single life? Most men will have a combination of friends but over time you will see where his strongest attachments are and whose values he is closest to.

There is little point getting serious about someone who you see has only the ‘potential’ to be a good partner but who isn’t there yet – you need to accept them as they are now rather than what you think they could be in the future with some gentle nudging in the right direction.

The past

The strongest indication that a man is ready for a relationship is that he has made peace with his past including previous relationships. This will be apparent because he will not be bitter or cynical about women, commitment or relationships. He will have the ability to look at what happened objectively and see his own mistakes as well as those of his exes – his mother – or women in general.

He will be more interested in getting to know you as an individual and exploring the relationship between you than in comparing you to women he has met in the past and judging you on that.

If this article gave you the confidence to find your match, try eharmony today!

Join Now

More like this: