How to tell if she’s ready for a relationship

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Most people want a relationship but that is quite different from being ready for one. As with most things in life conditions have to be right in order for it to happen, so what should you be looking out for to discover whether the woman you are dating is ready for a relationship?

She is over her ex

This is the first and most important thing to look for when you are trying to gauge if a woman is ready for a relationship. Being over an ex doesn’t necessarily mean that she doesn’t see him any more but that she has processed what happened between them and isn’t holding lots of anger, bitterness and resentment – or unrequited love. She needs to be able to see her part in the failure of the relationship rather than feel that she was just a victim because in all relationships there are two people.

Time is an important factor but not the only one – even if she has been separated for years there may still be unresolved feelings and issues which will stop her from being able to commit to a new relationship. Sometimes people start dating again to try and heal the past and while a new relationship may help to numb the pain it can prevent the real healing from taking place. Until her heart is free she cannot give it to you.

She isn’t too controlling or critical

Some women have a really clear idea of the man they want in their life – the roles he will play, how he will treat her, maybe even how he will dress and behave. If you are with a woman who is trying to micromanage you and change you into something you are not then she is not ready for a relationship – she is trying to find someone that will complete the picture she has of herself and her fantasy life. Relationships are about getting to know each other with all your differences and those that really thrive are the ones where each person is loved, valued and accepted for who they are.

When a woman is ready for a relationship she won’t compare you with her ex or make assumptions about your wants and needs simply because you are a man. She will want to get to know you as an individual and will explore the relationship between you without prejudice.

She is happy in herself

A woman is really ready for a relationship when she reaches the point where she is quite happy without one – she has a full and interesting life; she likes her own company; doesn’t have to fill every moment of her time with frantic activity; she can sit comfortably in silence, doesn’t get too stressed or upset if plans are changed at the last minute and isn’t full of insecurities and in need of constant reassurance.

She appears comfortable and will talk feely about her life and plans for the future especially with regards to what she is looking for in a new relationship. She will say what her preferences are rather than leaving all the decisions up to you and she won’t be afraid to tell you how she is feeling. When a woman is happy to be in her own skin she will seem relaxed and happy to let the relationship develop at its own pace.

She has good relationships

Everyone’s lives are made up of relationships – with colleagues, family, friends and acquaintances. How well these relationships are functioning can be a good indicator as to how ready a woman is for an intimate relationship. We all have disagreements with people from time to time but if she seems to have problems and arguments with everyone she knows, remember, she is the common denominator. It may be that in all her relationships she is making other people responsible for her happiness rather than taking responsibility for her own well-being – a necessary step in being ready for a relationship.

She takes care of herself

It is true that you need to care about yourself before you can really care about someone else. A good sign that a woman is ready for a relationship is that she takes good care of herself. Not just physically – in the way she dresses and in her personal grooming (though both important) but also in how she treats herself. Someone who constantly puts themselves down or has difficulty accepting compliments or enjoying dates because she feels inferior or unworthy it is unlikely to be ready to let love in even if that is what she desperately wants. Love starts on the inside and radiates out.


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