Things to do when you have the night to yourself


Night alone

Spending time comfortably on your own is an important and healthy step on the road to having a relationship with someone. It means you genuinely want to be with them, rather than finding it too difficult to be on your own.

Instead of feeling dejected and lonely, here are some ways to get proactive and use this time to improve your chances of dating success.

Have a clear out

Before you can welcome a new relationship into your life, you need to let go of old loves and make space for someone new to come in. The clear out may be of material things like old letters, photographs and gifts, but also of emotional baggage you might be carrying.

There are various ways of doing this but one of the simplest is to do some writing about past relationships, reflecting on what aspects worked and which caused you pain. The aim is to mine the past for clues you can take forward into new relationships, so that you know what kind of person you are looking to be in a relationship with.

Dare to dream

In her book The Secret, Rhonda Byrne talks about the law of attraction which suggests that what you think about you bring about. There is a lot of anecdotal evidence in support of visualisation and there is nothing to lose by using it to dream about the relationship you would like to draw into your life.

Either through writing or visualisation, begin to build a picture of what your relationship will look like. Maybe it will be inspired by celebrity or fictional couples, or even by couples close to you. Look at relationships you admire and aspire to and see what it is about them that you hope to experience yourself.

Don’t focus too much on the physical aspects of a future partner but more on how they, and the relationship, make you feel. Also think about the things you hope you will do together, whether that is having a family, travelling the world or building a house together, and how the relationship enhances other aspects of your life.

If you choose to write it down, write it in the present tense. Instead of saying ‘I want…..’ you write ‘I’m so happy and grateful that I have….’ – this is the heart of the secret, you believe what you desire has already come into your life.

Visualisation is a powerful tool and by practicing these principals in the area of relationships, you are more likely to recognise your dream date when they come along.

Be good to yourself

A quiet evening home alone is the perfect chance to practice some self care and do a bit of personal pampering. Cook yourself a delicious meal, pour your favourite drink, soak in a hot scented bath, do your nails, and rub in some luxurious body lotion – it will make you feel good about yourself regardless of your gender. Practice treating yourself in the manner you would like a new partner to treat you.

Enjoy your own company

Being on your own doesn’t need to be all about soul searching and self improvement, it‘s also a good time to indulge in some guilty pleasures. Put on your favourite tunes and dance like no-one it watching, watch your favourite feel good movie or pick up a long forgotten hobby.

The only relationship that you are guaranteed to have for your entire life is the one with yourself, so it’s worth investing all you can in making it fun.

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