Will a relationship help or hinder the journey to your best possible self?


Walter and Cheryl walking

Just like Walter in The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, every one of us has a vision of our best possible selves. Perhaps this is something that helps motivate us to reach our goals – maybe you fantasise about being the CEO of your favourite company, or you picture yourself with a hot bod to help with your fitness goals. Or maybe it’s a straight-out fantasy life that you’re living in some faraway parallel universe as the next big rock star, or living lavishly and travelling across Europe with your A-list entourage by your side! Whatever your fantasy, it’s good to have some sort of vision to work towards or at least motivate us.

It’s very common to initially have these visions without anyone else in the picture. They are, after all, visions of our best SELF. Why would we need a partner when we’re trekking the Swiss Alps or when we’ve made it as the next big superstar? A relationship will just get in the way of our goals, right? With all the initial dates, time and hard work that goes into them, how can we possibly have time to focus on anything else?

These are all valid concerns, and you must think carefully about what you really want before you make any decision. Firstly, ask yourself what you want right now and what stage of your life you are at. Maybe you’ve only recently come out of a serious relationship and need some time to rediscover yourself. Or perhaps you still have some soul-searching to do before you want to commit to a relationship. This could be in the form of travel, family history research or simply travelling down roads untaken that have always captured your curiosity.  Whatever it is that is calling you – if you feel strongly towards it, then go for it. Some of us are curious souls, and if we get caught up in a committed relationship while we have unfinished business to attend to, it is completely unfair on yourself and the other person.

In The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, Walter is an ordinary, everyday guy who uses his fantasies to escape the present moment into a world where he lives a courageous and exciting life. But he is then transformed when he embarks on a global journey and discovers his courage. He is then ready to pursue his romantic interest and be in a relationship. If you feel the need, take on those less travelled roads until you get to the point where you realise you want to settle down with someone. When you feel comfortable with yourself and your own journey, you will be ready to be in a relationship and merge your life journey with someone else’s.

Sometimes, we can be in a scenario where we do in fact have some paths to take on to help the journey to our best possible self, but we meet someone who is in a similar position and wants to come on the journey with us. It often isn’t until we meet someone special that we actually realise we want a relationship!

As opposed to the idea out there that life’s fun and adventures end once you’re in a relationship, many discover that a relationship is actually the best thing that could happen, and many adventures follow. When you are both at the right stage in life and are ready for a committed relationship, and of course are compatible with each other, a healthy relationship will help bring out the best in each other. This means that your partner’s love and support can help you reach your true potential, while at the same time you help them on theirs. Successful relationships are built on two people that help each other to continually better themselves and provide each person with advice and support. So yes, a relationship can not only help you on your journey to your best possible self, but even go beyond by helping you achieve things you never would have previously thought possible!


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