What not to share online
These days most people are plugged into the internet and social network sites 24/7. It’s natural to want to share big news and exciting developments with your nearest and dearest but sharing it online with your virtual friends can sometimes backfire.
… that you’re ‘in a relationship’ – too soon
Some people are on such a high after a date with someone they really connect with that they immediately change their online status. This will naturally attract a flurry of questions and before you know it you’ve shared far more than you intended.
Allow yourself to have at least six dates, or establish that you’re seeing each other exclusively, before you make any public announcements. It could save a lot of embarrassment later on.
The decision to make your union public should be one you make as a couple – not everyone is comfortable with having their business online. Every time you share about the relationship you’re sharing their business as well as yours, so you need to be in agreement.
… anything you wouldn’t tell your best friend
Sitting in front of a computer can make people feel like what they’re sharing is anonymous, especially in chat rooms or private forums. Even if you have a username and alternative email address these postings are still traceable and what you post online stays online, for a very long time.
… problems you’re having with your partner
If you’re struggling with any aspect of your relationship talk to your partner about it – or a friend in confidence – rather than your online friends.
… choices which should be personal between you and your partner
Many people are so reliant on the approval of their friends that they invite them to be part of the important decisions in their life such as their baby’s name or honeymoon destination. This can damage a relationship, taking the autonomy away from you as a couple and could make your partner feel that their opinion is less important than your friends.
… all the time with your partner virtually
In a long distance relationship it may be inevitable that you can’t see each other face to face but online communication is no substitute for conversation in person, on the telephone or over Skype. Tagging, poking, nudging and tweeting can let someone know you are thinking about them but it won’t deepen the relationship between you.
… your status when you are out on a date
A sure sign that someone isn’t having a good time on a date is that they’re updating their status about it while the date is still going on. It shows that you aren’t really engaged with the person you’re with and that the experience you are having is superficial rather than meaningful time spent with someone you’re really interested in.
… your doubts about the relationship
You may think that the relationship isn’t going well but enlisting the opinion of your friends online isn’t the right way to deal with your doubts. Not only is this very disloyal to your current partner but any future partner could see it on your timeline.
… anything you wouldn’t be happy to see printed on the front page of a tabloid newspaper
This includes photos, remarks, opinions and comments. What’s posted online in any format whether it’s a social network or a private forum stays traceable for many years afterwards and can be almost impossible to get rid of. For this reason sharing any details about your relationship online could be seen as over-sharing.
Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D from Psychologies Today suggests ‘Ask yourself why you feel this need to share, or perhaps over-share, the details of your personal life. Are you trying to seek attention, approval, or acceptance?’
When it comes to your love life remember to put your relationship ahead of the approval or acceptance of other people or your need for attention.
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