How to reignite your enthusiasm for online dating

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It is exciting when you first join eHarmony; most people are full of anticipation at the prospect of meeting new people and hopefully, one day, that someone special. As time goes on, if those dreams don’t start to become reality people get disillusioned and may even begin to question the process. The good news is that there are things you can do to rejuvenate your ailing enthusiasm and increase your chances of success. Here are a few of them.

Review your profile

If you have been a member for some time and your profile isn’t getting you the results you desire then maybe it is time to go back and review it. How you were feeling when you completed your profile can have a big impact on how you come across. If you were quite low, or having a hard time, you may not feel that it is a true representation of who you are today and how you feel most of the time. It is perfectly ok to go back and change things if you feel they are no longer accurate. To avoid making the same mistake again do it at a time when you feel unhurried, relaxed and in a good frame of mind.

If you can’t see ways to improve your profile you could ask a friend to have a look at it and give you some feedback on whether they think it describes you well. The profile is all a match has to go on when they are deciding whether to contact you, so make sure yours is the very best it can be and something that you are proud of.

Cast your net wider

If the dip in enthusiasm is due to the fact that the matches you get are all too similar, or too narrow in range, then it is time to adjust your settings. eHarmony uses technology which will match you with people based on areas of compatibility – the wider your net, the more fish can swim in and that means changing your settings. Just making small adjustments to things like age and location can make a big difference to how many matches you receive.

If you find that you are receiving too many matches then it may be that you need to do the opposite and narrow your search so that all your matches are more likely to be compatible with you.

Get an ally

If you have a single friend who would like to join the site it can be a great source of mutual support and encouragement if you do it together. You could arrange an evening once a week to look through matches, discuss dates and perhaps read some of the advice articles together and talk about the issues they raise. Having an ally in this area could help give you courage to push your boundaries, go on more dates and generally benefit from all the site has to offer and it will help your friend to do the same.

Break out of old patterns

Maybe you have got stuck in patterns that aren’t helping you really get the best from the site. Maybe you are skimming photos but never reading profiles; or reading profiles but never going on dates; or going on dates but always predicting disaster even before you get there? Take a long and honest look and ask yourself if you are really putting in as much effort now as you were at the beginning? Online dating is like many other things in life, you will get out of it what you put in.

Blocking yourself

Sometimes people never get to meet anyone because they are held back by their own fear of intimacy – INTIMACY = into me see – they are scared to be seen even though they want to be loved more than anything else in the world.

In these situations the first and most important step is to acknowledge the fear is inside you and then instead of blaming the website or finding faults in all of your matches, you can start to look at the real issues. Talking to a counsellor can help if there are deep rooted issues that you can’t uncover on your own but for most people the acknowledgement to themselves that maybe they are blocking the process is enough to free them of the pattern.

Once you have got to the root of any fears you will probably find that the whole process becomes much easier, and more fun, as you are no longer fighting against yourself.


If this article gave you the confidence to find your match, try eHarmony today!

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