Mistakes to avoid when compiling your online dating profile


Writing about yourself is always a challenge. Trying to strike a balance between funny and sincere; honest and not too self-absorbed; interesting and open-minded – it can feel impossible to convey in words what’s great about you or why you think you’re someone worth getting to know. It’s often easier to see other people’s assets than it is to see your own but if you want to be successful it’s vital to get a profile that stands out from the rest.

Being self-deprecating

It doesn’t matter whether you’re talking about the reason you’re online dating or your body image, putting yourself down is never attractive. Although it’s good to have a well rounded, honest profile the positives should outweigh any negatives. People often try to do this in a humorous way but as funny as it may sound in your head, the chances are that it won’t come across in the same way in written word.

Commonplace interests

There are literally millions of people who love reading, going to the cinema or long walks along the beach! They’re very common place so try to include hobbies in your profile that are unique to you. Use every question to show more about your personality, interests, values and aspirations. Leave the reader feeling that even though you may have some fairly common interests, you’re quite unique in how you reflect on and enjoy them.

Grammar – it’s as important as you think it is

Most computers now have spelling and grammar checks built-in so there’s no excuse for poor spelling or grammar. If this really isn’t your forte, ask a friend to check your profile before you post it. Although it may seem like a small thing, someone reading your profile may think that grammatical mistakes show a lack of interest in the dating process. Others may think it’s a sign of low intelligence or lack of education – either way you give yourself the best chance of not being disregarded on the basis of these judgments if you do all you can to ensure your profile is correct. Top tip – paste the copy into a word doc and spell check it there.

No photo or a bad photo

Profiles with photos are three times more likely to get attention on eharmony than those that don’t. Having said that, posting a really bad photo is nearly as bad as not having one at all. Choose a most recent photo, but avoid the classic mistake of a selfie – it gives the impression that you haven’t got any friends to take the photo for you. It’s good to have a variety of photos showing you in different locations and with a variety of head and full body shots. It’s also a good idea to ask someone for help when selecting your photos as most people are very critical of photos of themselves. Try and choose a head shot of you looking at the camera as your primary photo. Remember – no sunglasses!

Showing pessimism

One of the most important things that you want your profile to convey is that you are open to a new relationship and haven’t lost faith in love. While you may have had more than your fair share of failed relationships, you don’t want to come across as negative or cynical. One of the ways to boost your own enthusiasm is to look back at your past relationships, focus on the good aspects and think about what you could have done differently – were there warning signs that you chose to ignore? By changing your view of yourself you will feel empowered and trust that you will not make the same mistakes again.

Your profile is like your shop window – you want it to display enough of your attractive qualities to entice someone to want to come in.

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