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Dating an emotionally unavailable woman: Know the signs and tips

by eharmony Editorial Team - March 18, 2021

What does ‘emotionally distant’ mean? Ask this question to any single who is trying to woo a emotionally unavailable woman. It is a challenge to attract someone who just does not seem to reciprocate your feelings – she may not treat you the way you deserve and often forget to value you or appreciate you. Love is all about mutual understanding – it is a two-way street. If you have decided to give your heart to an emotionally detached woman, these tips will help you navigate through this two-way street effectively. First, you must identify if your special woman is affected by this. These suggestions from eharmony experts will help you manage your situation like a pro.

5 traits of an emotionally unavailable woman

To establish a strong relationship, you must first understand her behavior type. Acknowledging that her behavior has to do with something outside of your relationship is a crucial step. Here are five signs that you need to watch out for if you are dating an emotionally unavailable woman.

She keeps a safe distance from you

No matter how hard you try, it is not easy to jump across the fort she has built around her. She never lets you get close to her territory – it is not easy to even know a bit more about her than you already know! Even when you are having a great time with her you will find that there is some mystery or something amiss.

She seems to value her freedom more than the newfound friendship. There could be times where she is completely unavailable. She sends you mixed signals – you might have a close connection with her but the next minute she will become distant and cold.

She avoids conversations or replies vaguely

One of the common traits of an emotionally distant woman is avoiding all sorts of conversations. When you try, she might appear irritated or might ghost you. She will often make excuses to avoid getting together, connecting, or catching up.

Another common trait is, you find her secretive. She never talks about her past, plans for the future, family or friends, or about her work.

She likes to take complete control

At times, she acts like a control freak who takes all of your life’s decisions. She might not even bother about your feelings. She wants things her way. When she can dominate you, she has things in her control which also means her chances of going through a heartbreak is less.

She never relies on you for anything and does not ask your opinion even on the important stuff. She thinks being dependent on anyone makes her weak. She has her priorities set and you are never on the list. This is one of those clear signs of an emotionally unavailable woman.

She never compromises

Do you feel she has never considered your comforts or happiness? Then it’s an obvious hint that you are trying to woo an emotionally detached woman. She will never make any sacrifices or even small adjustments in her plan for the sake of your happiness. She blocks all empathic impulses which makes you believe she is rude – someone who values her ego more than other’s feelings.

At times, you find her complaining about everything you do and she feels provoked even in simple situations.

She is an attention seeker

Have you noticed that she craves to be in the limelight always?Does she exaggerate her situations to get the attention? Does she always speak about her problems, her critical situations that need immediate action?

An insecure woman feels that she deserves to be treated like she is the center of the universe and feels frustrated when that does not happen.

How can you attract an emotionally detached woman?

If you have lost your heart to this type of woman, these tips will help you get close to her.

  • Don’t ignore the red flags. Sometimes they could be so subtle and so irrelevant compared to the love you have her. Do a self-check. Are you emotionally available? Are you ready to date someone who shows vulnerability? Make conversations and be upfront on what you want from the start.
  • Be self-sufficient. An emotionally unavailable woman is attracted to a self-sufficient man. It is immensely attractive and relaxing for her to know that she won’t need to invest too much emotionally or financially on you. When she realizes that you are not ‘needy’ and when you respect her space, she will begin to value you.
  • Make your ambitions clear. Don’t jump into topics like making your relationship exclusive as this can terrify her. When she sees that your goals are about making your life interesting or adventurous, which she can be part of, she will like you. Discussing family-oriented goals can be a huge turn-off for women, who are emotionally unavailable.
  • Make space for change. Give her time and space. She will take time to show up differently, to share thoughts, and to hold emotional space for you.
  • Re-evaluate your decision. When all your efforts go in vain or if her responses are just making you feel lonely, invalidated, or even rejected, it is time to step back and revaluate your situation. Remember, her emotional unavailability isn’t your fault. Don’t try to manage it.

She is emotionally unavailable? Spot the red flags & cope with it like a pro

Most people reveal their emotional availability early on, so pay attention to the signs. Even if she seems to be Mrs. Right, yet is emotionally unavailable, your relationship can be emotionally draining. If the woman you are trying to win her heart is responsive and tries to change herself over time, there is no victory like it. These pro tips are helpful to approach a woman and will guide you from ‘the getting to know phase’ to ‘winning her trust’ and also protects you from emotional exhaustion. All the best from eharmony!

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