How to Make a Guy Fall in Love with You
Love is complex and the dynamics of attraction and intimacy can vary wildly from person to person. Attraction and love are multifaceted, holding many hidden shades that can’t be accounted for or predicted when trying to figure out how to make him fall in love with you.
But there are practical things you can do in a budding romance or a relationship that can help the process along. So while keeping that in mind, let’s look at some general tips on how to make a guy fall in love with you and foster a healthy relationship.
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Ways for how to make a man fall in love with you
Love should be a natural process of emotions developing organically but here are 18 of the top ways to give the process a helpful nudge.
Make him feel like he’s needed
No one wants to be a burden but letting the other person know you sometimes need help or emotional support can not only increase the level of trust between you, plus it also makes them feel good. Studies have shown helping others reduces stress, improves your mood and increases your self-esteem1.
But this doesn’t mean you should sacrifice your independence when looking at how to make a guy fall in love with you. They fell for the whole package when they started the relationship so maintain your passions, interest and interactions with others, creating healthy space and respectful distance in the relationship.
Show an interest in his passions and hobbies
While you should have your own distinct lives, showing an interest in the things that he’s passionate about also shows that you value him, quirks and all. It also shows that you want to get an even deeper perspective on the diversions that bring them joy.
This can sound a bit manipulative, but the goal isn’t to trick him when asking yourself, how does a man fall in love, but rather showing him. By using complementary body language you’re subconsciously saying, I’m as invested in this as you are.
Don’t be afraid to open up
There’s a prevailing notion that men are less in touch with their feelings. But research shows that men experience emotions at similar levels as women, however they feel more of a stigma around sharing them2. So, take the first step and open up to him and that act of trust may inspire similar vulnerability, deepening your connection.
But also maintain some mystery
This can be tricky but effective as a method for how to make a guy fall in love with you. When sharing, try to do it in stages. Don’t share your whole life story at once. Keep them guessing and intrigued with the notion of slowly discovering your hidden depths.
Initiate physical contact
A study from the University of Amsterdam has shown that even fleeting forms of touch, like a quick hug or caressing their arm, can have a profound effect on how people emotionally and socially function3. Men sometimes don’t seem very touchy-feely but never underestimate the intimacy-building effect of physical contact.
We tend to want to sell an idealized version of ourselves early on. It’s an understandable instinct, particularly when you’re trying to figure out a way to a man’s heart, but authenticity is an act of confidence and trust. A way to convey unapologetic agency and vulnerability to a man.
Seek out novel experiences
Trying out new things can help deepen your bond with someone, as it’s not only neurologically stimulating but also shows an openness to trying new things and experiences. If bungee jumping off a bridge isn’t your thing, you could just explore other parts of your city or go roller-skating together.
Maintain regular contact
Space is important when looking at how to make a guy fall in love with you, but you can also deepen affection by checking in with them or expressing to them that you’re thinking about them. This can be as simple as a quick message, sharing a joke with them.
Be patient with his relationship pace
Men can often be more cautious in relationships. They may be more wary of the relationship moving too quickly or certain acts of commitment before they’re ready. You have every right to have your own needs but try to remember that strong relationships are about mutual compromise.
Establish clear lines of communication
Communication styles between partners are often established early on in the relationship so make sure yours are as open and healthy as possible from the start. This includes not being defensive in conflict, being open to change and emotional availability when either of you need it.
How to make a guy fall in love with you by also being his friend
Romantic relationships hinge on a level of compatibility and friendship. More so than any other relationship. This is someone who you’re going to spend a lot of time with if the relationship goes right. You should get along and make each other laugh, beyond intimacy and sexuality.
Don’t shy away from conflict
No one likes to argue but if you’re looking at how to make him fall in love with you, being able to also air your issues and frustrations openly, sets a model for how you’ll interact and work through your problems both now and down the line.
Be willing to be silly with him
This one not only speaks to our tendency to create an idealized version of ourselves, but also allows ourselves the ability to be wacky or a little goofy with each other as a way to foster intimacy. Having a compatible sense of humor and silliness can also help you get through those tough moments in the relationship too.
Give genuine compliments and acknowledgments
When your boyfriend does something worthy of acknowledgment, don’t shy away from showing your genuine admiration or appreciation for him. This qualifier of genuineness means you shouldn’t just shower him with constant compliments but rather show that you see and appreciate him when he tries.
Don’t over-analyze but rather try to stay in the moment
It’s a line you often hear from people early on in the relationship, “What did he mean by that?” Often when we give in to our tendency to incessantly dissect and analyze our interactions, it leads not only to a poor communication style in the relationship but also groundless misunderstandings.
Try to surprise him
It’s easy to fall into behavioral ruts when you’ve been dating for a little while, but these don’t help your relationship develop so much as just endure. When figuring out how to make a guy fall in love with you, try to change things up and experience new things. It may inspire a similar spontaneity in him.
How to make a guy fall in love with you – Common mistakes
We can’t always be perfect in a relationship, but some common behavior and communication patterns can stifle or even break your relationship if they’re not healthily addressed.
Setting your expectations too high
Don’t put a man on a pedestal when you first start dating. You may think they’re perfect, but everyone is flawed in some way and that will become more apparent the longer you date. See the revelations of these weaknesses as deepening intimacy rather than them not living up to your expectations.
The tighter we cling to something, the more likely we are to suffocate it. You may have frequent jealous ideation but give your boyfriend space and trust that he’s not just going to be unfaithful the moment you lose sight of him.
Not knowing your true value
How can you figure out how to make a guy fall in love with you if you don’t love yourself? A big part of love is mutual respect, and you’ll find yourself consistently undervalued in relationships if you don’t believe in what you bring to the table.
This isn’t just about trying to push him into a relationship but also expecting certain relationship milestones too early. There may be certain topics or life experiences he’s uncomfortable talking about and pushing him to open up before he’s ready may push him further away.
Not setting boundaries
You may want him to fall in love with you, but you also want that love to be built on a solid foundation of mutual respect. By not setting healthy boundaries you risk an unhealthy model for your interactions as well as a potentially abusive power imbalance.
Trying to change him too much
People aren’t projects, they’re distinct human beings and in pursuing a relationship with them, you both made a kind of non-verbal contract that you accepted each other as a full concept. This doesn’t mean you should expect change and compromise, but it should be in measure doses.
Not trusting your partner
This doesn’t relate to infidelity but rather to believing in and relying on your partner’s strengths and competencies. By showing them that you don’t trust them to be there for you or accomplish certain tasks, you slowly erode their belief that you value and respect them, effectively pushing them away and impeding the chance for true love.
Finding your way to a man’s heart is an individual journey
Every love story is unique and there’s no one-size-fits-all method to attain true intimacy when figuring out how to make a guy fall in love with you. But by practicing healthy communication, showing mutual consideration and being consistently authentic, you can give your growing love the chance it deserves to blossom.
At eharmony, we get you started off on a better footing by using our Compatibility Matching System to connect you with people with whom you already share a strong degree of compatibility. Singles who truly invested in finding that next life-changing relationship. So come try out eharmony for today.