Relationships moving too fast

Relationship moving too fast: how to avoid a whirlwind romance

by Ian Prior - May 31, 2021

A new relationship is always exciting. Love blossoms too quickly and you begin to think of your partner as the most significant person in the world. The constant butterflies in your stomach, the thrill of seeing each other, and the new glow you have got – there’s no doubt that the beginning is great. But do you feel that your relationship is moving too fast? Is there something that makes you feel uncomfortable or insecure?

Are we moving too fast? The hints and the potential red flags

It’s important to establish friendship before diving into a full romantic relationship. Often, when your dating chemistry is incredible you are likely to be whisked away by the currents of passion. Is your relationship too intense too soon? Here are five signs you should watch out for:

  • You idealise your partner and compromise on your values
    You are losing yourself to the relationship – you are ready to sacrifice your me-time, time with your friends and family, and you are putting your needs aside to concentrate on the relationship. You are compromising your principles to make your partner happy. You are placing your partner in the foreground and ignoring everything else.
  • It’s all about physical chemistry
    Your relationship lacks communication and boundaries; it’s been all about intimacy. There’s a lot you don’t know about each other, but you are infatuated by physical attraction. Love is not just sexual chemistry and if that’s all your relationship has there’s a high chance you’re rushing in. If sex seems to be the only thing that is keeping you connected, then your relationship is moving too fast.
  • There are absolutely no conflicts
    You have no idea about what makes your partner angry or upset, their likes or dislikes. There have been no misunderstandings or conflicts and everything seems to be perfect. Fights, arguments, and disagreements are part of any relationship. If your relationship has not seen any ups and downs, it means there is something wrong.
  • You are on the rebound
    Maybe you haven’t recovered from your last breakup and need time to handle it. You have jumped into a new relationship quickly without healing. When one relationship ends, it is tempting to jump into another to feel less lonely and you could be moving too fast in dating.
  • You are already planning a future together
    When a relationship is new it’s easy to be extra loving and caring. But if you are both making huge life decisions, planning on moving in together after a month or less of dating, or are thinking of introductions to your parents, it’s a dating red flag. You’re chasing a feeling rather than pursuing a serious relationship.

How to slow down when a relationship is moving too fast

It is always advisable to slow down before making important decisions. Love can cloud your thoughts but you should take control of your emotions and be ready for a relationship only when you are absolutely sure that’s what you want.

  • Transparent communication pays out
    Be clear about your feelings from the start. Be honest about what you want from the relationship –if your partner wants to spend every waking minute with you, suggest something that better fits your schedule. Ask questions like, are we moving too fast? Is this what you really want? Get clarity.
  • Give importance to personal space and time
    This is essential in a romantic relationship. Finding someone to love does not mean you should give up on everything else. It’s easy to get caught up in the future of a relationship and cut out even friends and family. You need to find a balance and make time for your hobbies, interests, and family.
    Set boundaries and follow them
    If you feel the relationship is moving too fast too soon, slow your pace of engagement and signal it. Discuss what makes you uncomfortable. Tell your partner what is acceptable and what is not.
  • Establish a friendship and empathise with your partner
    When your partner has something to share, be a good listener. Being able to talk about anything under the sun will make your bond stronger. When you are friends, you will have more realistic expectations.

How to make progress at a healthy speed

So, if you two have found yourself asking are we moving too fast, then it is a sign you should re-evaluate your relationship. We know moving too fast or too slow in a relationship is tricky. But then how do you achieve the optimal speed? The answer is pretty straightforward – a healthy pace is something that you both agree upon.

The dynamics of healthy relationships:

  • You are not rushed or pressured in a way that makes you feel overwhelmed – the pace is comfortable
  • You both understand the relationship needs effort
  • You take ownership of your behaviour and bring your best self to the relationship
  • There is healthy conflict, mutual respect and you spend quality time together

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Moving too fast in a relationship? Work on building fulfilling bonds

Love is like a tasty dish, it should be savoured, not swallowed or rushed into. In a new relationship, allow things to evolve more organically. It’s okay to let your guard down but be smart and avoid any future regrets.
If you bring out the best in each other you’re in a healthy relationship. When the comfort level is high and when good times outweigh the bad, it’s a sign of a happy relationship. If you are still looking for an ideal partner, who is compatible and who can make you feel comfortable at all levels, try eharmony dating – a path to fulfilling love.

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