A man sits between two women on a sofa. Only their legs are visible

How to spot a serial dater

by Eharmony Editorial Team - March 4, 2011

Not everyone has the most honourable intentions when it comes to dating. Here’s how to look out for this particular species, who have the potential to break your heart...

While you may be dating to find a long-lasting relationship, others might not have the same intentions. Here are the signs to look out for if you suspect you’re involved with a serial dater

We’ve got some bad news for you; not everyone you’ll meet on your dating journey will have the best intentions towards you. If you’ve been dating for a while, you might have already figured that out, but some people still need to know.

We’ve covered off all sorts of daters your might encounter, in these pages, including the friend date , the American date and the second time around date.  But today we want to talk about the serial dater – and how important it is to steer clear of them.

What is a serial dater?

The serial dater is someone who refuses to play by the rules that we’ve all silently laid down as good conduct when dating. The serial dater loves the thrill of chase; they love the first couple of dates; they relish that new date feeling. Maybe it’s an ego thing, maybe its a boredom thing, but securing a new date is their ultimate high.

What’s the problem there, you might ask? After all, who doesn’t like going on a first date with someone they really like? Who doesn’t love that feeling when the other person accepts your invitation to dinner or drinks? The problem is, that’s the only bit they do like. For serial daters it’s downhill all the way from there. If you’ve been unfortunate enough to go on some dates with a serial dater, you can be sure you won’t see them for dust in a few weeks time.

How do I spot a serial dater?

It’s important you can spot these so called ‘serial’ daters so that you can hopefully get out before you get hurt, or simply avoid them completely.

To the serial dater, dating isn’t about looking for a partner to settle down with eventually. It’s about reeling people in, securing their interest and then moving onto the next person. Here are some of their more prominent character traits – a ‘Spotters’ Guide’ if you will…

They want to rush things. Your serial dater can’t wait to go on a date, and then can’t wait to get intimate. Why? Because the aim is to get to the ‘goods’ as soon as possible. For the serial dater, all the rules around building a solid, lasting relationship go out the window.

They have wandering eyes. A pretty obvious one this: if they’re checking everyone else out while you’re on your date, you’ve probably got a serial dater on your hands. They have a serious case of ‘the grass is always greener’ and they’re trying to find out how green the waitress/bar man/taxi driver/person at the next table is.

They’re easily bored. If you’re not interested in building a relationship with someone, chances are you’re not going to be that bothered about getting to know them. Your serial dater won’t ask you questions about yourself, and will probably try and rush you through the evening. That’s your cue to hail a taxi.

A final note

Not everyone is like this. In fact, serial daters are a minority, but they are out there so we want you to be prepared. Whether you date online, through friends or go speed dating, it’s possible you’ll meet one of these types. But at least you’ll be prepared.

Have you met a serial dater? What was your experience?