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Deepen That Connection: 70 questions to ask a girl

by eharmony Editorial Team - November 22, 2023

Maybe you’ve met someone online you’re intrigued by. Maybe she’s one of the people in your chemistry class. Maybe you’ve been on a few dates and you want to get to know her better, but you’re not sure how. Whatever the situation, coming up with the right questions to ask a girl can be daunting – which is why we’ve compiled 70 good ones you can use in a variety of situations.

What are good questions to ask a girl?

The right kind of questions to ask a woman you like depend on your relationship to her as well as the circumstances. Remember that while your intentions might be excellent, coming on too strong can be off-putting or even feel like a threat, so it’s important to tread carefully – and even more important to listen and back off if she’s not interested. Pay attention to things like deflections, soft nos, and body language – there are a million little tells that aren’t as obvious but are just as sincere.

If she is interested, open-ended questions are great because they let her talk at length if she wants to. Be sure to ask follow-up questions, too – they’ll let her know you’re listening.

Flirty questions to ask a girl

While the direct approach might work in some circumstances, it’s usually better to keep your flirting subtle and not focused on your date’s physical attractiveness. Some good questions to ask a woman you’re flirting with:

  1. What do you think is the most attractive quality in a person?
  2. Do you believe in love at first sight?
  3. What is your idea of a perfect date?
  4. Do you believe in soulmates?
  5. Do you prefer to make the first move?
  6. What is the best gift you’ve ever received?
  7. Do you have any hidden talents?
  8. What is your favorite way to relax?
  9. What’s the cheesiest pick-up line you’ve ever heard? Did it work?
  10. Do you have a go-to karaoke song?

Deep questions to ask a girl

Impress her by showing her you don’t just appreciate her looks but her capacity for thinking and introspection as well. Asking a woman a deep question on a first date can work beautifully to let her know that you’re not just a pretty face yourself and you don’t think she is, either. A few examples of thought-provoking questions you both might enjoy discussing:

  1. If you could change something about yourself, would you? What would you change?
  2. How would you define true happiness?
  3. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
  4. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
  5. If you could have three wishes, what would they be?
  6. What does spirituality mean to you?
  7. Is there a particular book, movie, or work of art that deeply impacted you? Why?
  8. What is the most important lesson you’ve learned this year?
  9. What are your thoughts on forgiveness and second chances?
  10. If you could change one decision you made when you were younger what would it be and why? 

Personal questions to ask a girl

While these questions don’t require as much introspection as the ones in the previous section, they’re best kept for a third or fourth date or even later, since they require her to show some vulnerability, especially the ones asking about her family or childhood. However, they can be a wonderful way to build trust between you two, especially if you’re willing to open up as well.

  1. What brings you the most joy in life?
  2. What is your philosophy on love and relationships?
  3. What is the most frightening thing you’ve ever done?
  4. What is your relationship with your family like?
  5. What is a favorite childhood memory?
  6. What do you do when you’re sad or upset?
  7. What’s something you’re unwilling to compromise on?
  8. How do you handle disagreements or conflicts in relationships?
  9. What’s something you’re proud of right now?
  10. What’s something you consider a guilty pleasure?

Questions to ask a woman you like

Those initial getting-to-know-you conversations can be a little nerve-wracking, especially when it comes to thinking of the best questions to ask a woman you like. You want to set yourself apart, but at the same time, you don’t want to come across as too pushy or too forward. Keeping it light and non-sexual while still personal is a great balance to strike.

  1. What are you most passionate about right now?
  2. What are three things that make you smile?
  3. What song makes you cry?
  4. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever bought?
  5. Which celebrity would you switch lives with?
  6. What’s a book you read and really loved?
  7. What’s your favorite thing about your best friend?
  8. If you could attend a concert by any artist, who would you pick and why?
  9. Have you traveled much? What’s your favorite place you’ve been?
  10. If money was not an issue, what job would you like to have?

Questions to ask a woman over text

Texting is possibly one of the best things to happen to dating in recent years and we’re not talking about the ability to send each other pictures. Texting lets you take your time both composing and answering messages, meaning you can say exactly what you want to, plus it works great both for silly conversations and serious ones.

  1. What’s the last song you listened to that got stuck in your head?
  2. What’s something exciting or interesting that happened to you recently?
  3. What’s something on the internet (an article, a video) you enjoyed recently?
  4. What’s something you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t had the chance yet?
  5. What’s the most useless piece of advice you’ve ever received?
  6. What do you wish you had more time for?
  7. Do you have a favorite spot or place where you go to relax and unwind?
  8. If you had to choose one song to describe your life right now, what would it be?
  9. If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?
  10. Do you enjoy cooking? If so, what’s your signature dish? 

Questions to ask a girl to make her laugh

Science has shown that women like men who make them laugh1. Jokes are one way to keep her in splits, but you could also try asking her one of the questions on this list. As a bonus, you might just find yourself learning a fun new joke or five.

  1. Is cereal soup? Why or why not?
  2. What’s the best WiFi name you’ve seen?
  3. What’s your favorite Dad joke?
  4. What’s the siliest/funniest thing you believed was true as a child?
  5. Would you rather have unlimited sushi for life or unlimited tacos for life?
  6. What was the weirdest conversation you have overheard?
  7. What do you think the best prank of all time is?
  8. What’s the most ridiculous fashion trend you’ve ever tried or seen?
  9. Do you have any favorite funny memes or GIFs you could share?
  10. If you were a food, what food would best describe your personality?

Relationship questions to ask a woman

One of the most important parts of a relationship? Communication. Another very important aspect? Expectations. The most compatible people in the world would go down in flames if one wanted permanence and the other was looking for a fling. Which is why it’s important, right from the very beginning, to be honest with each other about what you want out of your relationship and where you see it going. Some questions to make those conversations easier:

  1. Where do you see this relationship in a year’s time?
  2. What are some things that you consider essential in a partner?
  3. Do you want kids? How many?
  4. What were some things you learned from previous relationships?
  5. Do you have any relationship deal-breakers?
  6. If I had to move for work, would you move with me? Would you expect me to move with you?
  7. How important do you think being on the same page politically is in a relationship?
  8. What’s your idea of the perfect date?
  9. Do you think exes can be friends?
  10. What do you think the most important part of a successful relationship is?

Explore further questions to ask

Getting to know each other is an integral part of the dating process, but it can be very hard to know what kind of questions to ask. Next to the already explained questions, we’ve covered a range of topics, each with plenty of example questions to ask to get to know someone. 

Get to know her better by asking the right questions

Chosen carefully and with attention to the circumstances in which you ask them, questions to ask a girl can become invaluable tools when it comes to taking your relationship to the next level. Not only does asking questions show your partner you’re interested, asking one at the right time can be a way of building trust and deepening your connection with each other. Want the kind of relationship where this kind of thing is commonplace? Sign up for eharmony and find people who want the same kind of lasting love you do.

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