Calming image of a woman holding her hand over her heart
start free today
I am I am looking for

You can add more detail about your gender in your profile

For your security, use the following password format:

  • At least 8 characters
  • Letters AND numbers/special characters
  • Must not be the same as your email address

5 Tips for Keeping an Open Mind (and Heart) When Dating

by eharmony Editorial Team - January 20, 2009

Are you approaching the dating scene with a checklist in hand? Do your dates need to meet a certain criteria--or else? If so, it's time to break your own mold and approach the dating scene with an open mind.

Be honest — when was the last time you dated with an open mind and heart? Think back to all the dates you went on last year. Was your mind open to each potential candidate’s good qualities, or did you run for the hills at the first sign of trouble (scuffed shoes, a nervous smile, spinach in their teeth, etc.)?

If you’re like most singles, you have a specific dating check list with very little wiggle room. But here’s the thing — if you haven’t been in a relationship longer than a month in the last few years, maybe it’s not them. Maybe it’s, gulp, you!

Don’t despair if that statement rings true. If you’re serious about seeking your soul mate (or at least enjoying better dating results) in 2009, the following five dating tips will help you open your mind so that you may just open your heart in the coming year.

Dating Tip #1: Speak your Truth

If you want to increase your possibility of finding a rock solid partner, you must first become rock solid yourself. This means opening your heart and speaking your truth when dating. Instead of being on your best behavior and hiding the real you, share your likes, dislikes, and needs with potential partners.

By being true to yourself, you give the person sitting across from you the opportunity to date the real you and decide if that’s someone they’d like to keep seeing. If you say what you mean and mean what you say in 2009, you will enjoy amazing dating results and be well on your way towards your happily ever after future.

Dating Tip #2: Act, Don’t React

Rather than reacting to every little nuance of dating that rubs you the wrong way (his tendency to talk too much about his job, asking you to split the check on the first date, calling a little too frequently, etc.) take action to create a healthy and tolerant dating mindset. Reactive behavior can leave you feeling victimized so why not let go of that dating dead-end and expand your horizons with an open mind and heart?

Start by reflecting on why you react – patterns from past relationships, issues from childhood, fear of (fill in the blank). If you’re dragging your past into the present, you’re closing yourself off to awesome new opportunities. And in 2009, you owe it to yourself to become a truly savvy single. When you your mind and act from your heart, you get that much closer to relationship success

Dating Tip #3: Respect Yourself & Others

If you want a fabulous dating and relationship future, respect is a must! And it all starts with you. Are you loving and kind to yourself and others? Do you set appropriate boundaries, honor your word, and live with integrity? The key to showing people how to treat you starts with how you treat yourself.

By behaving with integrity and self love, your dates will respond in kind. And when they don’t, you will quickly and easily recognize their bad behavior and kick them to the curb. By creating a space of openness, you pave the way to attract potential partners who also have open minds and hearts.

Dating Tip #4: Be Flexible

Just because someone you meet doesn’t appear to be your type, it’s important to keep an open mind and heart. Why? Because Mr./Ms. Right may walk into your world in any number of shapes or sizes. In order for you to recognize their potential, you’ve got to keep your mind open.

When you meet someone new and you feel a connection, don’t judge the other person based on a preconceived notion of who might be right for you. Honor that genuine connection, let yourself get to know the other person, and see what happens. By living with an open mind, your heart may just find a partner who’s surprisingly perfect for you.

Dating Tip #5: Temper Expectations

Rome wasn’t built in a day, so meeting the right person for you may take longer than you expect. That’s why it’s essential to your happily ever after future to approach dating not only with an open mind and heart, but also with realistic expectations. By letting go of any preconceived notions about when and how you’ll meet The One, you open yourself up to the possibility of meeting many amazing “Ones.”

Along the way you learn, grow, and get clearer about the one that might be right for you. With more realistic expectations, you’ll be better equipped to attract the right relationship for you. Living and dating with an open mind and heart in 2009 will greatly increase your chances of success.

When in doubt, review the dating tips above. By putting them into practice in your everyday life, you greatly increase your chances of relationship success. Along the way, you open yourself up to new and amazing opportunities. Good luck and happy dating!

How it works

Your search for a great relationship has never been easier with groundbreaking overhaul of the eharmony you know and trust.